Being a Healing Community

This past Monday, First Baptist Church, Cornelia had the unfortunate opportunity and privilege to host the funeral for one our young men, Jonathan Dalton. In this moment, I watched our church move from simply providing a building for people to gather to becoming a healing community offering a loving environment for our community to grieve. God has already started using these moments of worship and remembrance to impact lives in our community.

I had the honor to deliver the memorial message at Jonathan's funeral. Below you will find the transcript of my words.

The song we’ve just heard is the classic George Jones song called “Choices.” Even though I’m new here – I can say with good authority – it’s probably the first time George Jones has been sung in this sanctuary. We played this song for a couple of reasons.

1. Jonathan listened to this song all time – in his truck, in his room. If any of you ever rode with him, I’m sure you’re heard this song as you were cruising around Habersham or mudding up and down the backroads of the county. As we started thinking of music for today – this song came up automatically as one that he loved because it seemed to represent Jonathan’s life: classic country. At the same time the song seemed to be almost an anthem for his life – for the choices he struggled with daily.
2. We also played this song because the message in it is the classic story of Geoge Jones. Written by Billy Yates and Mike Curtis, Choices quickly became an autobiographical anthem for George as he struggled with sobriety. A self describe drunk known as “no show Jones,” George knew the weight of his decisions on the people he loved. This song reminds us all that we are : “Living and dying With the choices we have made”

The song reminds me of a passage in scripture: Deuteronomy 30:19-20. These are the words Moses speaks to the Hebrew people as he transfers the mantle of leadership from his shoulders to those of Joshua.

“I call heaven and earth to witness against you today that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Choose life so that you and your descendants may live, 20loving the Lord your God, obeying him, and holding fast to him; for that means life to you and length of days, so that you may live in the land that the Lord swore to give to your ancestors,”

Both this passage and the George Jones song reminds us all that we face choices every day in our lives – choices between life and death, blessings and curses. Theses choices not only impact us, but they impact everyone who loves and cares for us as well.

If we look at Jonathan’s life we realize choices followed him everywhere he went.

1. Jonathan chose to be loved by his family.

§ From the day Jonathan was born in the NE GA hospital just before Christmas in 1991 to the day he died – he choose to be loved greatly by his family. He had a choice. Loretta has said that when his first words came out as “no” she knew from the beginning that he was going to be opinionated. From that point on, Jonathan wasn't afraid to tell you what he thought.

§ If he didn’t want the love of his family he would have told you – instead, he accepted your love gratefully.

§ He called his dad, Anthony – his best friend. He once wrote: “my dad has taught me many things. He has taught me to shoot a gun, unhook a fish and cuss! Just Kidding! “ They also caught a passion together for the band of brothers and began collecting as much WWII items as possible – guns, amo packs, helmets – even socks and underwear.

§ Jonathon’s choice to be loved by his family even meant that he allowed his grandmother and father to call him precious – not just when he was a child or just in the privacy of their home – but everywhere. Any teen guy who does that – knows he is loved and is thankful!

2. Jonathan chose to face life directly.

All who knew Jonathan knew that he didn’t like school. It seems to have just been a part of his DNA. This wasn’t something that just happened when he got to high school. During the fall of his first year in kindergarten, Jonathan would cry almost everyone morning about going to school. He just didn’t want like or want to be there. On the day before he was to go back to school from Christmas break Anthony decided to get it out of the way and prepare him for the coming day. He and Jonathan were driving home so he looked up and him and said, “Jonathan, I know you have had a good time over Christmas break, but tomorrow Jessica and you have to go back to school again.” Jonathan looked at his dad for a moment then said, “Well, dad, I guess a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do!”

Going to school was never easy or fun for him, but he made the choice to do it. He was that kind of guy. While he struggled with school, he knew what he could do. He was an extremely hard worker. He could do anything with his hands – tearing down a truck and building it back, plumbing, carpentry, even sewing.

3. Jonathan chose to be loved by Jesus.

Jonathan grew up in this church experiencing the love of Jesus through all of his Sunday school teachers, members and friends. When he was in 4^th grade, he attending funeral of his first cousin, Danny Wood, who had died too young as well. It was the first and maybe only funeral he ever attended. The service caught Jonathan’s attention. He told his mom – “I want to go to heaven to be with God too.” Loretta and Anthony talked to him some more, answered some questions and figured when he was ready, they might go visit the pastor or talk about more. No – the next Sunday, on his own, Jonathan walked down the aisle of this church, stood right here in front of this pulpit and chose Jesus! Before long, he was up in this baptistry going beneath the waters as a sign of the choice he made to follow Jesus.

Like many his age – Jonathan struggled with the institution of church – but never doubted his love and commitment to Jesus.

As we face the end of Jonathan’s life, we cannot let his final choice – made in haste and darkness and pain - cloud out the many other choices for life he made throughout his life. As a friend said recently – Jonathan was fighting hard to swim across the swift river of adolescence but the forces of the current became too strong and pulled him under. In those moments when his hope had disappeared - God’s grace still held Jonathan in a tight embrace. At no point was he ever truly alone. Jesus stood with him, loving him, holding him – just as Jonathan now stands with him in heaven.

There are some of us here like Jonathan who are fighting against these strong currents. You are struggling with the hard decisions which lead to life and the easy decisions which lead to further destruction. Let Jonathan’s death wake you from your slumber. As the ancient words of scripture say – “Choose life! Love the Lord your God, obey him, and hold fast to him; for that means life to you and length of days.” Have you chosen to receive the Love of Jesus yet? Before you leave today – I want you to hear this – you are not alone. You have people who love you. People who will fight for you. Choosing Jesus, choosing life may be the most difficult thing you will ever have to do. But we stand today with you.

National statistics show that if Jonathan had given himself just 24 hours he would still be with us today. As a community wracked by deaths like Jonathans recently – we need to help each other fight for those 24 hours. Listen to your friends or family members. Take their words seriously. Report them if necessary. Life is too important. The choices today – don’t just belong to someone else – they belong to all of us. What choice will we make as a community to fight for the lives of our children and fathers and mothers and friends?

Anthony and Loretta, Jessica and Josh – and all who loved Jonathan – I wish today I could tell you the days ahead will be easy and light. I can’t. You have been overwhelmed both by the magnitude of Jonathan’s death and the outpouring of love through your friends in this community. In the coming days darkness will seem more prevalent than light. Days will drag as mourning and anger and sadness and pain morph together and become indistinguishable. In these hard days ahead you will also have a choice: between isolation and community, lifeless living and renewed purposed.

As you face these days – I urge you: Choose life! The resurrection of Jesus not only gives us eternal life in heaven – the power of the resurrection gives us renewed and abundant life after death here on earth as well. This is the miracle God offers you today – I know it seems far away – but hold onto God’s hope found in your faith in Jesus. Surround yourselves with friends who love you. Don’t be afraid or shy or timid to ask for help. Choosing life means determining today that you will find a way to live – a renewed purpose for living.

I stand here with all who stood in line yesterday and who brave the heat today and say – we will not let you down. We will choose to walk with you through the uncomfortable darkness. We will not forget you in the days and weeks and months ahead. We will call and check on you even when neither of us knows what to say. We will pray for you constantly. We will fight in our community to stop deaths like Jonathans from ever happening again. These are just a few of the choices we will make as a memorial to the life of Jonathan Dalton.

When Joshua came before the Hebrew people after Moses had died he told them of the choice he would make in Joshua 24: choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve … as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."

On this day, in this hour – let us all make our choice as well: Choose life so that you and your descendants may live!