Agape

[I gave the following Eulogy on Saturday, August 11, 2012 for Jordan Phimmachack.  Jordan was 17 years old when he died in a drowning accident in Tallulah Falls Lake.  Jordan was Laotian.  He family provided a traditional Laotian/Buddhist funeral.  They gave me the opportunity to say a few words.  These are those words.]         

     Good afternoon.  My name is Eric Spivey.  I am pastor of FBC, Cornelia.  I am honored with the opportunity to speak for a few moments about Jordan.  Thank your Mr. and Mrs. Phimmachack for this honor. 

            I first met Jordan last month when my church, First Baptist Cornelia, sponsored Camp Agape.  Working with the Department of Family and Children Services, Camp Agape provides a safe and fun space for children who face chaos in their families. 

            On the Saturday before camp began, my friend Timothy introduced me to Jordan who would serve as one of our counselors in training.  For one week, I had a chance to see a piece of Jordan’s life from the outside.  In this brief time I witnessed his compassion and patience for children.  When I think about the cabin of Boys Timothy and Jordan corralled, all I can remember is the patient way these two friends loved and cared for these boys. 

            As I have reflected on this week of camp, I realize that I did not get a full picture of Jordan.  I wasn’t aware of his dancing prowess or his break dancing escapades at Raider pep rallies.  I missed his love for cars and friends.  I only saw a brief wisp of his humor and ability to make his friends and family laugh.  But in this brief window of time, I did find one powerful sign of Jordan’s character:  His love!

            The word Agape for which our camp is named is a Greek word that means love.  Love can mean many things in our English language – from I love chocolate to I love my car to I love my wife – all the same word, but not all the same expressions.  Agape has a deeper and more powerful meaning than the flippant way we can often use the word love.  Agape means sacrificial love.  Agape is an action more than a feeling – it is an act of will.  Something we do more than a fuzzy feeling we get on the inside. 

In the Christian scriptures the word is agape is used to express the heart of God’s Being.   The Bible states:  God is Love.  God is agape.  More than a just who God is, though, Agape expresses how God acts.  The Gospel of John states this about God:  “For God so loved – agaped -  the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life.”  God’s love stands at the heart of the Christian faith. 

            As I have reflected on Jordan’s life – the love I saw him express at Camp Agape – the word agape provides a map of finding comfort on this difficult day.    

Agape Received

            First, in Jordan’s life we see Agape received.  You see - Jordan Phimmachach was a gift of God into our lives and into the world. Because God loved the world, God gave us Jordan as a son, brother, relative, friend, dance partner, Facebook friend.   Like most gifts, he was a gift we didn’t deserve or earn.  While we grief desperately, today we still celebrate the time we had with this gift of God.  We are one the receiving end of God’s agape. 

            There is much to celebrate in Jordan’s young life.  Many of you have been sharing Jordan’s gift of laughter and fun with one another.  From the videos and posts you have shared on facebook and at the viewing last night – I have seen you celebrate Jordan.  It seems where ever he went, he made people smile.  From his break dance moves to his smile – he just wanted to make you smile.  We all know how unique this is.  This was one of Jordan’s gift.  He was God’s gift to us. 

I know the pain of his loss makes it difficult to celebrate the gift of Jordan’s life.  Over the next days as the wake of his death moves to our attempts at ordinary life – I invite each of us  – friends and family to continue sharing stories of God’s gift of Jordan to your lives.  Tell the story of God’s gift of Jordan to the world.  Write it down.  Put it on Facebook.  When school starts and you find yourself talking to someone who did not know Jordan well – ask them if you can share a story of God’s gift to you – a story about Jordan Phimmachack. 

Agape experienced

            Another expression of agape we see in Jordan’s life is agape experienced.  One of the hardest and still most profound stories of the past week has been the experience of agape the night Jordan died.  If we want to know what Agape looks like – we see it expressed in Kendal and Hannah’s sacrificial love to save Jordan in the lake.  On Monday night, the Rabun Country sheriff’s inspector gathered everyone in the fire house to answer questions about this event.  He share with everyone gathered that these two teenagers gave all of themselves – risking their lives - in their attempts to save Jordan.  He called them heroes.  This is what Agape looks like.

            If any of us wonder where God was when this tragedy happened – know this.  God was there in that lake.  Jordan was surrounded by the Love of God freely given and expressed through two of his friends. 

             Over the last week, many of us have experienced this kind of love through our friends and family.  We experienced agape as we walked through Jordan’s home, met his family, and received their hospitality.  Many of the teenagers here have seen their parents, family and community doing all we know to do to walk with you through this tragedy.  one of us – adults or teenagers – are adequately equipped to get through such deep loss – so we share agape with each other.  We walk through the deepest tragedy together.  This is how the Christian scriptures express this experience of agape.  “when I walk through the darkest valley of death,   I fear no evil; for you are with me; your rod and your staff— they comfort me.

            I know many of us are suffering through expressions of grief we do not understand this week and today.  We find ourselves struggling just to get by each day.  Grief is always difficult – no matter the age.   There is no right or wrong way to grieve or feel.  But here is what we need to do for each other.  Keep each other safe.  Look out for each other.

            In the same way that Jordan’s friends risk their lives for him – we must do the same thing for each other.  Stand up to your friends when they are behavior is risky or dangerous.  Don’t sit quietly if someone you know becomes despondent or makes remarks about hurting themselves.  The experience of Agape means we must continue to watch out for each other. 

Agape Given

            The final expression of Agape is agape given.   One of the hardest things to do in moments like this is to move forward.  We don’t know what to do or how to do it.  Jordan’s life and his death gives each of us a way forward.  We must pay agape forward.  We must love those around us sacrificially.  We must look intentionally for ways to express love to friends, to our family, to our community. 

            As the recipients of God’s gift of Jordan to the world, we cannot let his death be only an empty event.  Let us give the agape we have received and experienced back to the world.  The world needs the kind of love Jordan expressed.  The world needs compassion.  The world needs people like many of you who are willing to sacrifice themselves for the betterment of others. 

            How will you give agape back to the world?  How will you make sure Jordan’s life and death is not in vain?  Will you decide to start back to school and get a diploma or GED in honor of Jordan?  Will you decide to that playing around at life is childish and decide to let Jordan’s death give you focus and attention of making sure your life counts for something.  Will you change your whole career path in order to impact others through your own agape in the world?  Maybe you will determine that the relationships in your life need to be healed in honor of Jordan – go to those people – and find ways to express agape to them.  Will you decide to live your life – not for yourselves but for others. 

I know we are all still grieving and struggling – but even in these numb days we can determine to make this something new out of this experience.  We must determine for ourselves that Jordan’s death is more than a tragedy.  This is what God does - God creates new things out of tragedy.  It starts with us and our determination. 

            I look forward to having one of the teenagers in this room to come up to me when I’m an old man – and tell me – it’s because of the love I received and experienced through Jordan’s life that my life changed.  It will happen. 

Thank you again, Mr. and Mrs. Phimmachack, for the opportunity to speak during this solemn and holy occasion.  It is a great honor for me.  Thanks be to God.  Amen.