Thinking

When stress invades my life - good or bad - my thinking seems to hit overdrive. As the needs of life needing my attention grows, the faster my mind races trying to keep up with the overwhelming streams of data, the "to do" lists and people to contact. Last night, as we got home at 9:00 pm after a great 7th grade poetry night at Sarah's middle school (Who knew 7th grade Language arts teachers could pull so much personal stuff out of 7th graders, put it in poetry form and share it in front of some many adults. Impressive!), I realized the dogs had been inside for most of the day. So, while Marcia got the girls in bed, I started on a quick walk down the street to clear my head and give the dogs some exercise.

While we walked, I soon realized my head was floating with thoughts and ideas, anxieties and memories. I barely noticed the dogs as I started clicking through all of my responsibilities. Then, I took time to look up. The stars were there - making their way through the ambient light of Lady's Island. God was there. In all of these thoughts, the feelings of being overwhelmed, the things I had not done, the things I was just remembering, everything - God is there.

The great lesson of my life these days - the place where God has been forming me this year - has been trust. Trusting in God has been a mantra I've needed to repeat to myself more often than I care to admit. At times, God has spoken to me - "Trust me, Eric." I can't say this has ever been easy, though. But there have been days when I felt it - life lived in complete trust in God. It's those days that keep me moving. Keep me plodding through the work of each day. The amazing part of trust - we never stop having to trust. When we made our way through FBC's pastor discernment process - the big step in saying yes to God - I thought our need to trust would be over. Instead, I have found my need to trust God has only grown exponentially. I now must trust God in all of the smaller things - the details - several times each day. Trying to find a house? Trust! Trying to help the girls adjusted to a move? Trust! Trying to get through all of the lists? Trust! Of course, this need for trust has always been here, but transitions seem to bring it out more clearly.

Today - my list is only growing. Stress builds like water behind a dam. But as I prepare for this new walk of faith, I continue to trust. I trust God that the pressure and stress will build, but not break me. I trust God in the things I cannot control and work to manage the things I can. And in the end, no matter how hard or easy the next days, weeks and month become - God still loves me, cares for me, calls me and desires me to be His. This is my firm statement of faith on this day!